Something happened last week, a load shifted in my psyche. I don’t have the words, really, to describe the feeling. Something like a grim set of the teeth. Determination to face the coming cyclone even though there will be nothing left intact on the other side.
Over the weekend I went to see Scorsese’s brutal movie The Departed. I picked up the soundtrack and found these words from Comfortably Numb that could have been written by my own soul at the moment:
There is no pain, you are receding.
A distant ship’s smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move, but I can’t hear what you’re saying.When I was a child, I caught a fleeting glimpse
Out of the corner of my eye.
I turned to look, but it was gone.
I cannot put my finger on it now.
The child has grown, the dream is gone.I have become comfortably numb.