Terrible Predictions for 2017

Public domain photo via Library of Congress

Public domain photo via Library of Congress

Now that we no longer have the Mayan calendar to kick around where can we turn for our year-end doomsday predictions? One place to start is the blood of San Gennaro.

Every year the dried blood of Saint Januarius is presented in a ceremony of the Roman Catholic Church in Naples, Italy. And every year the centuries-old blood miraculously becomes liquid. Except for this year.

Failure of the miracle of San Gennaro is supposed to portend evil tidings. The last time the blood of the saint failed to liquify was 1980, the year of a terrible earthquake that killed over 2,000 people.

Nostradamus Predicts Monetary Crisis Following Trump Election

Michel de Nostradame, everybody’s go-to predictor of cataclysm, might have predicted the election of Donald Trump in the quatrain 40 from Century 1. We should know if this is true when somebody from Egypt starts messing with global monetary policy. It’s also quite likely that you can read anything you want into Nostradamus’ ambiguous verse.

Psychic Predictions for 2017

Channeled from beyond the grave, the Bulgarian mystic Baba Vanga supposedly predicted that Obama will be the last U.S. president. This means that something will happen to prevent Donald Trump from becoming president – or possibly that Trump will find a way to end the presidency once he takes office.

Also posthumously, the famous “sleeping prophet” Edgar Cayce might have predicted that Vladimir Putin will prevent the world from slipping into a third world war and bring spiritual renewal to the West.

Current non-dead psychics are less specific and less interesting in their predictions.

Futurist Predictions for the Year Ahead

Predictions from scientists are less interesting than those from psychics because scientists see next year mostly as a continuation of the last. Aliens, yawning chasms and apocalyptic horsemen aren’t part of the dataset for most futurists.

Among top science and technology trends will be a race to create a truly intelligent assistant, a surgeon will successfully transplant a human head, and hackers will climb to a whole new level in 2017.

My personal prediction for 2017? Anxiety will become the new “normal.”