Dispatches from the War on Crap: Shitstorm

Yesterday the cocker spaniel (somehow) got two loaves of Irish Soda Bread off the counter and consumed both.

The results were not good. The soda seems to have reacted badly with her delicate digestive system. The dog’s sides filled out to the point where she was nearly spherical. Normally athletic, the dog could barely pull herself up the stairs. She lay on the floor grunting and snorting like the little pig that she is.

This morning I woke to a kind of Tet Offensive of dog poo. Many casualties on all sides. I grabbed the Dirt Devil Spot Scrubber–only to find that it was out of action. You’ve got to run warm water through this thing after every use. Otherwise it’s a huge pain to clean the vacuum nozzle. It takes a micro screwdriver and a 12″ zip-tie to do the job even halfway. Reading carpet spot cleaner reviews, I’d get the Bissel Spotbot if I had a do-over. I’m wondering if a jug of warm water, a scrub brush and a Shop Vac might be just as easy.

Wouldn’t you know it but we were also out of Nature’s Miracle? Why doesn’t this stuff come in 25 gallon drums? I’d buy two.